tssandwich: (Default)
Look, I understand the concept of dramatic license. But having just watched an episode of "The Good Wife," I've got to wonder who the hell is writing this crap. (Spoiler warning, but if this show continues like this, it'll be off the air by sweeps, anyway. Poor Julianna Margulies deserves better, as does Christine Baranski.)

- A million bucks for a soft tissue injury in a slip and fall? Please let me know what jurisdiction this is in, so I can move there and start a plaintiff's practice (And retire by 45). Given a positive EMG test and a good neurologist's report, we're talking $100k, tops. If she treated for a year, and if you paid a neurologist $10-15k to appear at trial. And if the insurance company's lawyer was too busy secretly subpoenaing personal info to hire a PI to follow this perfectly healthy looking woman around for a day. I have permanently disabled clients who aren't going to get anywhere near a million.

-Punitive damages? For "willful and wanton" conduct? Sure, but leaving a wire on the ground for 24 hours isn't willful or wanton-- I don't think it's even reckless, and the Supreme Court decided years ago that punitive damages can only be 10 times compensatory in any case. And a $20,000 insurance policy for a house is something out of the 1970s. And what's stopping these Hasidim from waving down a random gentile and getting them to move this light, non electric wire on Shabbat? (Actually, I suspect that a fallen eruv wire could probably be moved out of a path without violating Shabbat)

-A lawyer's bar number isn't something easily hidden. I write mine or my supervising partners' on the web or on paper about 20 times a day. If you know my real name, you can look it up at the Pennsylvania Disciplinary Board's website, along with the bar number of everyone else, including the Governor, sitting judges, etc. Making up a bar number and practicing with it would probably work for about 6 weeks before you got caught. (A suspended or disbarred lawyer could probably get by for six months, but only if they were careful. A disbarred lawyer recently got his office locked by the PA Supreme Court for trying to continue to practice.) There's this thing called the Internet, see...

-Generally speaking, in every jurisdiction I'm aware of in the US, if not the common law world, you have to give the other side notice before you subpoena information. The likelihood of my surprising a witness with his or her cell phone bills at trial is approximately zero, presuming the witness has non-comatose counsel.

I'm not saying shows need to be as legally precise as Law and Order sometimes is. I'd settle for a Boston Legal (which got the law right and the ethics entirely wrong, but had the excuse of being a comedy). But yeesh. If anyone from the show actually reads this, I'll happily law-check their scripts for a flat low fee and closing title screen credit.


Apr. 19th, 2006 10:42 am
tssandwich: (Default)
Order here (PDF file)
Dissent here (PDF file)

Bonus points for those Civil Procedure geeks who can spot the logical fallacy in the dissent.
tssandwich: (Default)
from the Prothonotary of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. I won. It was closer than I would have liked, as three justices were rather upset with some of the behavior of the lower court judge and would have remanded, but in any case, it's over and I won!

I'll post a link to the opinion as soon as it's posted.
tssandwich: (Default)
When I was about 10 or 11 years old, my swim team got invited to a citywide swim meet. It was the first Olympic-sized pool I had seen, they actually used digital stopwatches to measure times, and there were hundreds of people there.

My coach called me over, and told me I was swimming backstroke in the next race. I ran over, got into position on the starting bars, and realized he was wrong—it was the race after the next one—I was side by side with about ten 16-or-17 year olds, all of them several times larger than I was. The referee? umpire? guy-with-the-starting-gun-and-stopwatch? walked over to me, and loudly told me I was in the wrong race. I don’t think I’ve ever been more humiliated in my life. I had nightmares about it for months, and I quit the swim team just a little less than one year later.
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